#MeToo

I’ve seen A LOT of #MeToo posts this week... and as someone who was repeatedly sexually victimized from age 5 to 17 and then again in my 20’s & 30’s... I sympathize and completely understand the shame, the self-loathing, the emotional and sexual PTSD, and all the relational baggage and obstacles that have to be overcome throughout life as a result of the heinous sins of each perpetrator.

But, I want to talk about another aspect of the #MeToo community that isn’t being posted about (or at least none that I’ve seen yet)...

With all the posts about inappropriate touches, advances, molestation, rape, etc., not one person has spoken about what it’s like for the parents (particularly Moms) of these girls and boys that have been victimized.

As a mother of a now grown woman who was victimized as a toddler, I know too well the inadequacy of the judicial system, poorly written laws, and downright ignorance of law enforcement and social services alike when it comes to appropriately facing and dealing with the ramifications that can affect many generations.

But, the #MeToo thing I’d like to address is the complete lack of respect some of the parents of these victims AND perpetrators seem to have toward their own part in the sexualization of their children. Of course, I commend, admire and applaud the loving, protective parents who raise their children to embrace modesty, pursue purity, and teach them the safety, security and blessing of abstinence. We all know that God’s way is best. But, how are we impacting those around us to do the same?

As a parent of a toddler and now a parent of a formerly “unparented” teen, what bothers me are the Moms (& Dad’s) who willingly allow their teen (or even pre-teen) girls and boys to spend the night or go unchapereroned with the opposite sex, sometimes even leaving them alone and encouraging them to “hang out” together... yet leaving them to make their own boundaries and rules about what to do or not! Or not monitoring their social media accounts, connections, and internet use. (Pornography comes in MANY forms today— much through social media, text and email!) Unfortunately, many times these parents allowing this sin, were victims themselves once... and the deception is the only “truth” they’ve ever known.

Well-documented Research has proven “The rational part of a teen's brain isn't fully developed and won't be until age 25 or so. Until then, the portion of the brain that controls reasoning, self-control, and decision-making is not developed nor properly even used. That lack of development impairs one’s ability to think rationally and make appropriate choices.”

The results are girls and boys (& men/women) justifying pre-marital sex, masturbation, pornography, and living as though there are zero consequences for their sin. They carry this deception into future broken marriages, difficult relationships, lifelong regrets, and shame that can mold and shape their perceptions for years unless there is some sort of intervention of the TRUTH. Now I know that we live in a fallen world and we are given the free will to choose, but I also believe it’s the parent’s responsibility to raise a child in the fear and admonition of the Lord. Those rooted and grounded in the truth are so much better equipped to handle these struggles with integrity and strength of character.

We make our choices, and then our choices make us. I had protective parents and they gave boundaries... but they didn’t realize that the friends I chose didn’t have parents who gave those same boundaries and I was afforded more freedoms than I should have been. Then, add the deeply rooted shame, self-deception and trauma of my lifelong victimization... by age 25 I should have been dead or pregnant without a spouse, or any plethora of other things. I physically survived, but make no mistake... i carried a tremendous amount of dysfunction we’ll into adulthood regardless!

I am living proof that God can take the most sinful, unclean past and transform, restore and make pure a woman ever grateful to be called His vessel of grace!

My desire is to educate, teach, & mentor young women and young parents. I want to show them how to replace the lies of this sin-sick culture with the truth of God’s word, always with the goal of restoring and coming alongside others to see families and little girls and boys set free from the bondage of sin & shame!

Without the grace of God and a saving relationship with Jesus, none of these things are possible, but I believe one person, one family at a time — God can use the transformed life of just one “MeToo” to impact many.

What if we decided today, to boldly go where only Jesus would go and partner with Him to see these precious children and parents have transformed homes, families, and communities?! Will it be hard? You betcha!

Will it be messy and heart-wrenching, and exhausting?! Sometimes...more often than not! But I guarantee you that a life surrendered to Jesus Christ, committed to walking in obedience and truth, can and will make a difference... one life, one day, one friendship at a time! So, tonight I admit before God redeemed and completely restored my broken messed up self-deceived heart almost 7 years ago, I was a #MeToo, believing the lies of the enemy and living in rebellious disobedience.

But God had another plan for me... just as He does for you! Whether you are a parent struggling with how to teach and protect, a teen struggling with regretful decisions, or an adult still reeling and dealing with your #MeToo experiences, there is HOPE. And Hope has a name: Jesus! If you read this entire LONG post, I thank you! May you take some time alone with God, repent if you’ve sinned in this area, pray, ask Him to restore and to show you how you can specifically grow and mature in the truth so you can help others too!

#MeToo #VictimNoMore #RedeemedAndSetFree #NoMoreBondageToSinAndShame #NoMoreLies #ThereIsHope #JesusSAVES